The Unnecessary Struggle of Feminine Women in Today’s World
Being a feminine, more traditional, woman in today’s world is tough. This is likely going to be a topic of controversy that could bring up some tension.
Society has determined that external beauty is sufficient enough for women to feel as though their femininity is developed. In fact, the push for women to develop more masculine traits has become the norm in a lot of groups and cultures, especially in the Western world.
The group of modern feminists is a club reserved for women that are “killin’ it” in their career and “thriving” in their independence. The beliefs that modern feminism adopts are those that really diminish, if not outwardly attack, any sense of patriarchy. Women are celebrated in society when they are “slaying it” in their careers, when there is a man staying at home with their children, and when the woman is the leader, protector, and primary provider for the family. All of these traits, while many may think are seemingly normal, are in fact masculine in nature.
Well, women used to not be celebrated at all, so isn’t this a leap? You may be thinking.
No, I do not believe that this is a leap whatsoever because women are only being celebrated when they are exemplifying traits that are inherently masculine. Any woman who is working on their more feminine traits is not celebrated at all, if anything she is being criticized and put down.
The traits that modern feminism celebrates are the EXACT same traits that used to be celebrated in men. The only thing that has changed is that men are no longer being celebrated for being up-front, confident, independent, and career-driven, instead, it is women who are being celebrated for embodying these things.
Being a feminine woman does not embody the traits that modern feminism celebrates and that means that women, like myself, do not fit into a widely accepted group of modern society. There is a false concept that being strong - in terms of emotions, physicality, and personality -also means that you are powerful and I do not believe that that is the case. I believe that there is power in a lot of different personality types. I believe that there is power in being nurturing, gentle, and a homemaker. There is power in creating a space for your family and loved ones to grow, develop, and flourish together.
There is such a misunderstanding that in order to be a powerful woman you have to portray masculine traits and values. There is so much power to be had when embodying more feminine traits. Because society is so good at celebrating women who portray traits that are more masculine, the younger generation sees that and feels as though the only way to be celebrated is to take on the same traits. But there is a whole group of women who want to be more feminine, nurturing, and gentle. These women are put down for embodying these traits, and they are criticized harshly for wanting to nurture a home and family, to strive for a successful marriage, and take care of their community and others around them.
Women should have the freedom to DECIDE whether they want to take care of a home or be more career-driven. In today’s modern view of feminism, women do not have the freedom to make the decision to stay home or work, instead they mandate that women work and provide financially for their family. This is where modern feminism is actually oppressing women for choosing to stay home, be more nurturing, raise a family, and cultivate a successful marriage.
People need to be allowed to make decisions for themselves and there should not be pressure from society to do one thing or another. Some women do not want to have children and that is OKAY. Some women want to have 10 children and that is OKAY. Some women want to work their way up the corporate ladder and that is OKAY. Some women want to have a job that they can go to from 9 to 5 and turn off when they leave and that is OKAY. Some women want to work to contribute to their family until they have children and that is OKAY. I could go on and on.
Regardless, the push for cultivating femininity is being outwardly oppressed, and, for me, it has been a very long and thought-provoking journey to finally be outwardly feminine and work on embodying the traditional values that I believe are imperative to the success of families, communities, and society.
If you are currently on your journey to cultivate your femininity or harness your traditional values, what are some points of struggle that you have encountered? What do you get nervous about when being openly feminine and/or traditional? I would love to hear about your journey and have a conversation. Please feel free to comment, email, or message me on Instagram!
